Keys to a Great Marriage
Dum dum da dum, da dum da dum…we hear the wedding march in the movies. Our hearts swell with happiness. We wonder if it will happen to us or to our friends and family. But little do we know, there is an interesting road to getting married and staying married.
It seems like it was just yesterday that Jay and I met. We lived in two different states but were determined to be together. Eventually, he proposed and we started planning our wedding. Our wedding day was a beautiful May day and the air was warm. No clouds in the sky. Months of planning were finally done and we said our "I Do's."
What are the keys to a successful marriage?
The adventures of being a newlywed are an amazing venture. You constantly discover:
New things about each other
Challenging opinions
The warm fuzzies you feel about them.
I have learned things in our first year of marriage. Not only about my husband but about me as well.
I find myself asking people that I consider to be seasoned married couples: What makes a successful marriage? Now that I'm married, I see the ingredients even more of how marriages can be successful. Here's the recipe:
Endless Cups of Love
Not just when your spouse does something you like, should you show love. True love should never be turned off or on.
Endless Cups of Respect
When someone feels respected they feel important. I tell my husband I appreciate the man he is, and also the sacrifices he makes for us.
Endless Cups of Humor
Laughter is good medicine for the soul. I know that life can be serious at times but not all the time. Laughing helps us cope and strengthens my husband and me. I love to laugh.
Endless Cups of Forgiveness
In order to keep that special connection, it's important to forgive. Actually, forgiveness is another way of showing love.
I'm not always right, and neither is my husband. We must be adult enough to forgive the other person. True forgiveness means not bringing up the situation again.
Once true forgiveness happens, it wipes the slate clean.
These are some of the ingredients to a successful marriage. But in any relationship, it takes two to tango. We can't have one person doing the work.
Communication issues in marriage
Our love story was now going to a new level
Now that we were back home and settling in, I made the adjustment of not only being a caretaker but now a wife. One of the things we always prioritized before we got married was communication. So that was only going to help us going forward.
However, it's easy to have communication miscues in marriage. Here are some examples.
1. Hidden self conversations
We can establish a misunderstanding in our minds. The situation is not even what we thought to begin with. Stop having that hidden self-talk.
2. Afraid to show emotional nakedness
At times I believe it's easier to be physically naked than emotionally naked. Sometimes we don't want our partner to see our true feelings and if we do we are afraid they won't see us the same.
Need help with this? See our post on emotional intimacy. We have a lot of great tips on how to strengthen this part of your marriage.
3. Not being emotionally mature
We must understand what our spouse is going through