Ready to strengthen your marriage but aren’t sure where to start? Do you like making New Year’s resolutions but always fail to stick to them? You’ll love this post on New Year’s resolutions for couples as I help solve both of these problems!
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Marriage resolution meaning
A marriage resolution is something you and your spouse commit to doing. It helps improve your bond and strengthen your relationship.
New Year’s resolutions are all about improving yourself and setting goals. Why not make some resolutions that will directly help your marriage too?
How do you set a couple’s goals for the New Year?
New Year planning for couples can be as fun or deep as you want it to be. First of all, sit down with your spouse and talk about what you’d like to improve in your marriage. What areas could use some work? This is not a judgemental conversation. Be open to hearing your spouse’s feedback.
Next, think about what goals you’ll set. You’re more likely to stick to your New Year’s resolutions if you create specific, attainable goals.
For example, the resolution to “get healthier” is too ambiguous and doesn’t set a concrete path you can stick with. Instead, create goals that are measurable, such as “eat 2 servings of vegetables every day”.
Don’t make the resolution so hard to keep that you give up on it.
For each of the resolutions below, you’ll find specific, measurable examples. You can easily alter them to make your own.
New Year’s Resolutions for Couples: Couple goals for 2024
Below, you’ll find both serious and fun New Year’s resolutions for couples. I’d suggest picking a couple for 2024 and seeing how it goes.
1. Support each other’s goals
Make it a goal to support each other.
Example of an attainable goal: Check in every 2 months to see how our goals are
2. Exercise together
There are so many benefits to exercising together. Find some exercises you both enjoy and create a workout plan that you’ll stick to.
If working out isn’t already a habit, you’ll want to start small with this resolution. And don’t try to make it a goal to work out together every time if you don’t like the same types of workouts.
Example of an attainable goal: Exercise together twice a week.
3. Check in with each other
Is work stress weighing down on your husband? Is your wife having a tough day with the kids? Make it a point to know what is going on in your spouse’s day to day life.
A simple, “How are you doing?” text will go a long way. It will make your spouse feel important.
Example of an attainable goal: Ask each other “How is your day going” every day.
4. Argue better
Conflict in a marriage isn’t necessarily a bad thing. What matters is how you handle it.
This resolution requires some advanced planning. Sit down and talk about past arguments. Don’t focus on who was “right or wrong”. Instead, take a look at how you handled those conflicts.
Were you quick to be defensive? Could you have listened to your spouse’s side better? Own up to your mistakes and make intentions to do better next time.
This resolution works best if you focus on one thing at a time, like working on your listening. If you try to tackle too much, it might get overwhelming. You’re emotional enough during an argument, there’s no need to add too much else.
Example of an attainable goal: We will not cut each other off when having a disagreement. Instead, we will listen to each other better.
5. Work on your communication
Are there a lot of misunderstandings between you and your spouse? Maybe you’re not communicating effectively.
This is another resolution that will require you to sit down with your spouse and have a frank conversation. Ask your spouse this question: “How can I improve my communication with you?”
It’s important to hear what your spouse has to say. You might be doing something (or not doing something) you’re not aware of. You need to see it from their perspective.
Example of an attainable goal: I will not interrupt my spouse when they are talking.
6. See the good in each other
Have you ever had an argument that was all due to a misunderstanding? I’m sure a lot of conflicts could be eased by first giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt. If you choose to see the good in them, you’ll likely ease a lot of tension.
Start this resolution by making a list of all the good about your spouse. This list will help you recognize the good in your spouse each day.
Example of an attainable goal: Write down 1 good thing about each other every day.
7. Spend time apart
Spending time apart can actually be good for your marriage. You need to be the best version of yourself to be the best for your marriage. Alone time can be very important for your mental health.
This is a great time to get back into an old favorite hobby or begin a new one. I personally like to read and crochet.
Example of an attainable goal: Spend at least 2 hours a week apart.
8. Give each other a break
Self care is so important, especially when you have kids. We all need a break from time to time to breathe and take care of ourselves.
One year for my birthday, Josh gave me wine and bath salts. He then took the kids out of the house for a few hours. I was instructed to relax while they were gone. He even returned with lunch from one of my favorite restaurants.
Example of an attainable goal: We will give each other a 3 hour break twice a month. During these 3 hours, that person is not allowed to cook, clean, or take care of the kids. No productivity. 🙂
9. Look out for each other
Recognize when your spouse needs help. If you’ve been checking in with each other like in tip #3 above, you’ll likely know when to step in.
A simple way to look out for each other is to ask, “How can I help you today?” Maybe the dishes have been piling up and your wife has been overwhelmed with the kids lately. Clean those dishes for her.
Or maybe your husband has been wanting to exercise but hasn’t found the time to. Take care of dinner tonight so he can focus on himself for an hour.
Example of an attainable goal: We will ask each other every day, “How can I help you today?”
10. Start and end the day together
Are you a morning person? Is your spouse a night owl? What would happen if you were to align your schedules so that you start and end the day together?
You’d get a lot more time together.
I was never a morning person. Growing up, I’d sleep in until 11 am on the weekends. Josh, on the other hand, has always enjoyed waking up early and going to bed early.
When we first started living together, I began waking up early with Josh. I wanted to be awake when he was. Slowly, my preferences started to change.
I now can’t imagine sleeping past 8 am on a weekend. I love waking up early. It allows me to start my day with Josh in peace before we get the kids.
Example of an attainable goal: We will wake up and go to bed at the same time.
11. Do something new together
When is the last time you tried something new together? Make a list of all the things you’d like to try and use a resolution to help you stick to it!
Here is a great blog post with lots of ideas for you to try.
Example of an attainable goal: We will go ballroom dancing 2 times this year.
12. Compliment each other more
Who doesn’t love a good compliment? It feels even better when it comes from your spouse. Do you compliment each other enough?
If thinking on the spot is difficult for you, try these ideas:
- Write down a few things you love about your spouse
- Think about what your spouse does well: Does your husband cook an amazing breakfast? Is your wife really good at staying on top of the family’s crazy schedule?
- Think about qualities you love about your spouse: Is your husband really sweet and thoughtful? Is your wife’s kindness almost endless?
- There are so many wonderful things about your spouse. Make sure your spouse knows it!
Example of an attainable goal: Give each other one compliment a day.
13. Work on appreciating each other more
This resolution can be complicated – You may think you are appreciating your spouse enough. But does your spouse actually feel appreciated?
Ask your spouse these questions:
- Do I make you feel appreciated?
- What could I do to make you feel more appreciated?
- Is there anything I do that does make you feel appreciated that you’d like me to continue doing?n
Example of an attainable goal: We will check in with each other once a month and discuss appreciation in our marriage.
14. Work on emotional intimacy in your marriage
Emotional intimacy is the ability to share your thoughts, feelings, desires, and concerns with another person. In marriage, strong emotional intimacy means you can go to your spouse for anything.
Need help with this? You’ll love this post on how to increase emotional intimacy in your marriage.
Example of an attainable goal: We will listen to each other when one of us is trying to express a feeling.
15. Cherish the small moments
What are some small moments in your day-to-day that you could focus on? Do you make sure to kiss each other goodbye before one of you leaves the house? Do you hold hands while you watch tv at the end of a long day?
Those small moments are special. Cherishing them will make you appreciate your marriage even more.
Example of an attainable goal: We will write down one small thing we cherish about our marriage every day.
16. Use more conversation starters
There’s so much more to your lives together than work and the kids. Yes, those things are important and should be discussed. But you also need to have conversations that have nothing to do with either of those topics.
That’s why I love conversation starters! Here are our favorites.
Even if you’ve been married for 30 years, there is always something you can learn about your spouse.
Example of an attainable goal: We will use conversation starters to ask each other 5 questions a week.
17. Do a challenge together
Challenges can help marriages grow stronger. When you face a challenge together, you take on a great opportunity to improve your teamwork.
Years ago, Josh and I trained for a 5k together. (Side note – before meeting Josh, I couldn’t even run a mile!) The day of the 5k, we finished side by side. We motivated and encouraged each other. I know I would not have been able to do it without Josh by my side.
Bonus points if your challenge makes you healthier like ours did!
Example of an attainable goal: By the end of the year, we will be able to run 2 miles without stopping.
18. Make plans
If you’re a planner like me, it’s fun to think about the future. If you’re not a planner and tend to wait until the last minute, you might want to work on that together as a couple.
For example, do you wish you could go on that vacation to the mountains this year? If you book far enough ahead, you’ll have more hotel and flight options to choose from. And they won’t be as expensive as waiting until the last minute.
Example of an attainable goal: We will plan our family vacation 5 months in advance this year.
19. Go on a double date
I’m a huge proponent of spending quality time with your spouse. But it can be a lot of fun to get to know other couples. Going on a double date will add more variation to your date routine.
Example of an attainable goal: We will go on 1 double date this year.
20. Volunteer together
Do some research and pick a charity in your town. You can also get creative with this resolution. One year, Josh and I bought pizzas and took them to the nearby police and fire stations. It felt good to give back to our community.
Example of an attainable goal: We will volunteer together 2 times this year.
21. Make spirituality a priority
Spirituality means different things for different people. For some, it means going to church. For others, it can be mediation. Whatever your beliefs are, make a resolution to grow in them. Doing this with your spouse will bring you closer together.
Example of an attainable goal: We will go to church at least 2 times a month.
22. Get healthier together
You shouldn’t make your resolutions as ambiguous as “get healthier”. I generalized this one on purpose. I wanted to let you decide for yourself: what do you need to improve on to get healthier? Here are some ideas:
- Get an annual checkup
- Eat 3 servings of vegetables in a day
- Exercise regularly
Encourage each other to keep this resolution. After all, wouldn’t you want to be healthier for your spouse?
Example of an attainable goal: We will drink 48 – 64 ounces of water a day.
23. Put your phones away
Are you too attached to your phones? Start setting goals to keep your phones away so you can connect with your spouse better. Here are some examples of goals you can set:
- No phones at the dinner table
- No phones in bed
- No phones for a whole day (probably a Saturday or Sunday where you just stay home all day)
Example of an attainable goal: We will set our phones aside when sitting down for a meal. We will give each other our full attention.
24. Be more romantic
Anyone can Google “how to be more romantic”. What matters is that you put forth the effort. Make a resolution to show your spouse more romance this year.
Here are some romantic at home date ideas for you to try. And don’t forget about Romance Enhanced. You’ll find done-for-you romantic dates that you’ll love!
Example of an attainable goal: I will plan 2 romantic dates this year.
25. Talk more
With work, kids, and chores, you can easily go the entire day without having a good conversation with your spouse. Make a resolution to sit down and have an uninterrupted conversation together. That means no kids, tv, phones, etc.
Conversation with your spouse is so important because you need to be able to:
- Discuss updates (what’s going on with that house repair, what appointments you have this week, etc.)
- Check in on each other and how you are doing
- Talk about more than just work and the kids
- Vent if something is bothering you
Have your kids play in their rooms for 20 minutes or make it a habit to talk before bed.
Example of an attainable goal: We will end each night with 20 minutes of uninterrupted conversation.
26. Work on your financial goals together
Take a look at your finances together. Are you in debt? Do you need to save money for a vacation? Do you wish you understood investments better?
The new year is a great time to reevaluate where you stand financially. Finances can be a source of tension in marriages. You might as well lay it out on the table and talk through them together!
Example of an attainable goal: We will start a budget and check in on it every month.
27. Have more fun together
Forget about all of your responsibilities for a second. What do you and your spouse like to do together? What do you wish you would do more of?
Josh and I got into playing cooperative video games together when we were dating. Now that we have kids, we don’t get to do it as often. We could easily make this a resolution: “Start and beat a new cooperative video game together.”
Another example is hiking. One of my personal new year’s resolutions is to go on 4 hikes throughout the year (at least 2 of them without the kids!). Josh and I used to go hiking a lot before the kiddos came into our lives and I would love to get back into it.
Make a list of all the fun things you used to do with your husband when you were dating. Are there any things you don’t do anymore that you could implement back into your lives?
Example of an attainable goal: We will go on 4 hikes this year.
28. Do a bucket list item together
What’s on your bucket list? Is there something you could do together in the new year? Make it a priority and work towards meeting your bucket list goal together.
If all of your bucket list items are too big to tackle this year, make a resolution to plan how you’ll accomplish something on your bucket list.
Example of an attainable goal: We will go to New York and see a show on Broadway this year.
Romantic new year’s resolutions for couples
Go on regular dates
Going on regular dates after marriage is so important.
Remember that at home dates count too! Here are some great ideas.
Example of an attainable goal: We will go on a total of 10 dates throughout the year: at least 4 have to be out of the house.
Funny new year’s resolutions for couples
Final Thoughts: New Year’s Resolutions for Couples
Are New Year’s resolutions effective?
It’s all up to you. You’re going to falter. And that’s ok. What matters is that you keep trying.
You may have noticed from reading the list above that I like to write things down. I’m a visual personal and it helps me to wring things down. Do what works best for you. The more you do it, the more it’ll become a habit.
Make sure you check in with your resolutions throughout the year. Here are some tips for keeping your new year’s resolutions:
- Set reminders on your phone throughout the year. Do it now!
- Print out your resolutions and hang them on your refrigerator.
- Give your resolutions to your spouse. Ask them to help keep you accountable.
- For daily resolutions, I find it helpful to review them in the morning or before bed to refresh your memory.
Have you ever made a resolution with your spouse? I’d love to know in the comments below!
