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  • Writer's pictureMelissa

19 Lasting Ways to Build Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage

Who is the first person you want to tell when something good happens? What about when something bad happens? What if you have a worry or concern? Do you go to your spouse with all of these thoughts and feelings? Are you that person for your spouse?

This blog post will give you the tools you need to increase emotional intimacy in your marriage. Keep reading for some great and lasting tips to build this incredible connection.

man and women sharing a moment on the grass

What is emotional intimacy?

Emotional intimacy is the ability to share your thoughts, feelings, desires, and concerns with another person. In marriage, strong emotional intimacy means you can go to your spouse for anything.

How important is emotional intimacy in a relationship?

To be healthy, all close relationships need some level of emotional intimacy. It can mean the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. If this is necessary for friendship, it's infinitely more important for a healthy marriage.

How would you feel if your spouse never talked to you about his/her feelings? Your marriage would quickly turn from a loving relationship to just being roommates.

Healthy marriages work through tough connections. They build emotional intimacy so they can grow together and last longer.

I surveyed 122 divorced women. An overwhelming 85% of them said their marriages lacked emotional intimacy. In fact, they said it was one of the problems that led to their divorce.

What are examples and signs of emotional intimacy?

There are many ways to show emotional intimacy in your marriage. Here are some examples:

  • You feel comfortable telling your spouse your thoughts: Don't get me wrong, it can be difficult to address concerns and be vulnerable. In emotionally healthy marriages, these conversations are just a little bit easier.

  • You're not afraid of new experiences: You know your spouse will support you through the uncertainty of new experiences.

  • You feel appreciated: It's one thing to appreciate your spouse and another to actually show it.

  • You feel truly heard when you talk to your spouse: Your spouse doesn't challenge or contradict you when you talk. Instead, you are listened to. Follow-up questions might be asked.

  • You are met with kindness when you talk about your feelings: You feel secure enough to express your feelings because you have been met with kindness in the past.

  • You feel comfortable being vulnerable with your spouse: Vulnerability stems from a level of emotional intimacy that takes time to grow.

What are the 4 types of intimacy?

According to PsychCentral, there are 4 types of intimacy: physical, emotional, mental/intellectual, and spiritual.

Emotional Intimacy Test

How emotionally intimate is your marriage? Use this quick test to find out! Don't worry, the tips below will help you build on each of these.

Emotional intimacy test for a marriage